YUYAN'S.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008, 8:25 AM

last sunday.
went to rebond my hair early in the morning. sighs, i swear my hair is damaged beyond repair. rebonding doesnt seem to make much difference in the horrid grass-like texture of my hair, and it costs so much. in fact i think i look uglier now, because my hair looks flatter. =( and the auntie went to cut off so much of the hair i so painstakingly tried to grow. sadnessss.
went cycling with my family at east coast after that. had a great dinner at the hawker after that. it's been a long time since we organized a family outing like that. cuz everyone's been just too busy with their own things, especially me. i used to spend weekend dinners with my parents, but that was when i was studying for A's and had little social life. ever since A's ended i've been going out alot. working and then shopping during weekends. haha. but i think i like this kinda life. earning my own keep and being able to buy just what i wanna buy. =)

monday.
workkkk. my office now has a new task. opening letters and sorting those rubbish. piles and piles keep coming in. -.- damn. but it's sometimes really hilarious to look at other people's passport size photos. LOLNESS. after work me jacq angie and queenie went to run. they ran 10 rounds but i only did 9. too tired lah. it was really tiring yesterday, dont know why. maybe because the weather was hot.

today.
workkk. sorting letters again today. jacq and i found a shrek lookalike, LOLOLOL. my son's so gonna be a poor little ugly chap in the future if karma exists man. went to sun plaza to meet maf after work for dinner and a movie. i swear we go to the weirdest places. soon we'll finish going to all the cineplexes in singapore. (or maybe not) caught step up 2, thought it was only average. there wasnt much plot, but people watch such movies not because of the plot lah. the dance was not very impressive. maybe because i dont like street dance. i prefered the dance in step up 1, cuz it's much classier. anyway, maf told me something just now that still gets me giggling to myself when i think about it. he was in the toilet, and there was a man in his 30s peeing next to him. and then suddenly that man gave out a loud and long fart. (it smelt too, he said) maf was shocked for a moment, and then burst out laughing. as in, REALLY laughed out LOUD. it was so embarassing! imagine if someone, some stranger, beside you farted and you laughed in his face. goddd. he said he quickly finished peeing and ran out of the toilet. i think it's utterly hilarious. and after he finished telling me the 2 of us sat there like idiots laughing for a really long time. i guess this is probably why we click. (ohhh karma karma)

anyway, i recently had this realization that i had been unconsciously making excuses for certain little things i see that are actually sending loud signals to me trying to tell me certain messages because i keep wanting to let myself be in constant denial. maybe things werent supposed to be this way. if it were, everything would fall perfectly into place, and i wouldnt be feeling this way, no?

i keep wanting to hold on, even when instincts strongly suggest me to step back and reconsider my stand. at first i thought it was normal when i didnt have answers to alot of my questions. but then i grew to realize that when it comes to these things, you're supposed to ALWAYS have answers. there would be no doubts, you'd know you want it.

i dont want to let myself get into a circumstance(again) where i'm in it not because i genuinely want to, but simply because i just dont mind to be in it.

you'd understand what im trying to say.