YUYAN'S.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010, 10:17 AM

found this while doing my research on organizations.

Symptoms of Psychosis
NOTE: Psychosis is an abnormal condition of the mind,and is a generic psychiatric term for a mental state often described as involving a "loss of contact with reality". People suffering from psychosis are said to be psychotic. They often have hallucinations and delusional beliefs (i know people like that).

after reading through all the symptoms, i realize i kinda sorta fit the bill! O.o

no, really. see, i fulfill almost all the points stated above.

1) Thinking people are against you or talking about you.

This may sound like super paranoid, but i'm always being suspicious that people around me are talking about me! For example, if i'm sitting somewhere minding my own business and suddenly a group of girls beside me start whispering and giggling, i'd be like 'omg. are they laughing at me cuz my top/shoes are ugly/dont match or my hair is messy??' or like, if a random group of people are like talking beside me and suddenly i catch someone saying 'blahblahblah SO FAT' i'd turn my head over immediately to see if they're talking about me! HAHAHAHA. what. so i'm sensitive like that sowhatshutupthxbye.

2) Receiving personal messages from the TV or radio.

ok luckily i'm not so crazy that i think i was summoned through a code on the radio to go fight a war against aliens or something like that, no. but i would go like 'OMG this song he's playing is like so totally meant for meeee!!'. HAHAHA but i think alot of people do that lahh. (ADMIT IT!) so not so bad.

3) Senses seem sharper.

gee. i've always sort of prided myself on having a stellar sense of hearing. like, really. you can ask pris!! she's always saying how good i am at ~~eavesdropping on people's conversations~~ hearing things that are soft/far away. i have a good sense of sight too!! can ask cho. she's always darn amazed that i noticed she cut her hair/put new eyeliner blahandsuch. ok maybe that's not EXACTLY dependent on good sense of sight. maybe im just ~~kaypoh~~ more observant.

4) Hearing voices.

omg this is creeeepppyyyy. but sometimes it happens to me. i'd turn to the person beside me and go 'what?' and then the person will be like 'what what?' and i'll say impatiently 'what did you say just now? you just said something right?'. and the person will look at me weirdly and go 'ermmm... no....'. and i will appear a little doubtful and go 'okayyyy. ... ... ... really no? cuzithoughtiheardyoucallmynameomgwtf??!!!'

5) Seeing visions or things that others cannot see.

this happens to me quite often.
me: isnt that XXX over there??
friend: where?
me: THEREEEE.
friend: where?
me: haiya in front of that building, wearing red!!
friend: where?
me: JUST IN FRONT OF YOU, idiot!!!
friend: ........ where?
*usually it happens quite often when im with certain people.

6) Thinking that you have special powers.

I DO!!! really. Have you heard me talk like this:

HAHAHAHAHAHA. lovely. i love annoying orange.

7) Sad or irritable.

omg i feel this ALL THE TIME. especially irritable. i get soooo damn easily irritated you'd be surprised. for example, i get irritated when:
1)the bus/train is filled with yelling kids/idiots who play their music out loud from their gadgets/ah peks that stare at you/ugly and fat couples PDA-ing/smelly people/people that go 'excuse me excuse me!' when you're alighting at the same stop as them also.

2)people who cannot speak clearly talk to me. or people who cannot spell properly text me. (NOTE: i'm not talking about less educated people who really arent good in english, i mean people who go 'wru'(and expect me to know it means 'where are you', like wth so i reply 'iah'(i'm at home)???) and people who go 'eeeuuuu are shooo cutezx!' and 'he ishhhh liek dart'. go back to your alien-retard planet pls.) ok admittedly i get irritated when people make grammatical mistakes (all the time) too. 'i didnt knew!'/ 'i have ate'/'you drunked my water?'.

3)people take such a long time at the cashier/atm machine/food stall and make me wait. like, some people ah, really damn buay tahan. once saw this idiot uncle at ice cream shop, he went to ask the girl at the counter 'what flavour nice ah?'. like wl you never look at menu before queueing up meh?!
girl: hmmm. would you like chocolate or XXX (forget what la huh)?
uncle: err, got fruity flavour anot huh?
girl: mango or durian?
uncle: errr, hmmm. hahaha, tsk tsk.
me: -.- -.-
uncle: i want something like... not so sweet one leh. got anot ah?
(queue extends behind me)
girl: erm... raspberry?
uncle: berry ah?! errr. hahaha tsk tsk.
like. wth???!! i was on the verge of saying something like 'you're at an ice-cream shop. ice-cream IS SWEET.' like what idiot goes to ice-cream shop and wants something not sweet???!! retard ttm.

4)people go ON AND ON about things i'm JUST NOT INTERESTED IN. i mean like SERIOUSLY, SOME PEOPLE JUST DONT GET THE HINT. ok i know we all have to occasionally pretend to be interested in something, like, that person talking is your friend/boss/dream date and you have to be nice. usually i'm okay with nodding and smiling and going 'haha! really?' BUT WHAT PISSES ME OFF IS PEOPLE who go like 'eh i tell you a secret.'
me: okay, what?? (at this pt i'm really quite interested. like which girl doesnt like a secret right?)
XYZ: hahaha, dont tell anyone!!
me: okok.
XYZ: *giggles* you swear!!
me: okok i swear (lose half the interest liao)
XYZ: wahhh.. *giggles* really cannot tell!
me: (-.-) yes i wont tell. (interest totally gone)
XYZ: aiya i really cant say.. but you wanna know right? i wanna tell you but it's like, not my secret!
me: ohhh, then nvm lo. anyway i was watching this movie the other day damn funny--
XYZ: oh man i'm dying to tell you!! you look like you're dying to know also lah ahahaha u damn kaypoh! so gian!
me: ha.ha. it's ok if you cant tell la. really. so yea, the movie was about--
XYZ: AA and BB are together!
me: huh. who they?
XYZ: the sister of my friend's friend's friend lah! and the guy her school one. think from english lit...? eh dont tell ah!
me: i dont even know them who can i tell.
XYZ: apparently he bought her roses and got on his knees!! omg dont say ah!
me: wow. anyway planning to catch Shrek? looks funny--
XYZ: the girl not even pretty. hor hor??
me: I.DONT.KNOW.THEM.
XYZ: the guy like toot toot one also hor?
... ...
like wahlao!! eh i tell you this REALLY irritates the hell out of me. cuz im just not the most patient person around. you wanna tell then tell, dont come trying to keep me in suspense cuz it doesnt work for me. suspense works for some people i guess, but for me i'll just lose my interest. cuz frankly, maybe I'M JUST NOT INTERESTED IN WHATEVER YOU FIND INTERESTING. OH AND PLEASE dont start accusing me of being kaypoh and 'gian' about knowing your secret, especially when i'm not. cuz i might turn nasty.

i still have a looong list but i shall stop here (shall keep this for the next entry). moving on.

8) Isolated.

... sometimes i feel like that. =(

9) Confused or puzzled.

hahahaha i'm ALWAYS confused and puzzled. ~~cuz most of the time when people are talking i just drift away and start stoning so later i cant catch up with what they are talking about~~ just that i like to act smart/keep my 面子 so i will always pretend to understand what you're saying. so if i smile and nod at you and you suspect i really dont understand what you're saying, PLEASE dont expose me thankyouverymuch. =)

10) Like you cannot trust people.

I dont really trust people. sometimes not even people closest to me. i just think the more you trust someone, the more hurt you'll end up to be when the person hurts you. and you never know what will happen right?? sometimes people hurt you unintentionally too. and i hate that the most cuz you know the person caused you so much pain and yet you cant hate him/her cuz he/she didnt do it purposely. it gets so frustrating cuz you cannot get angry, only can get so upset and pained. and obviously being angry is so much easier than being heartbroken.
...the only person you can ever trust is yourself.

11) Like you are being watched.

omt i always feel like i'm being watched!! especially when i'm walking home late at night, i'll always feel uneasy and that someone is watching/following me. i'll always stare at the floor as i walk, so that i'll know first hand whether there is someone behind me by seeing his shadow. and if suddenly(!!!) a shadow appears, i will start trying to second guess whether he'll appear on my right or on my left. and then i will start thinking of what i'd use to hit him if he attacks me etc etc. you get the point. and and, when i'm alone in the toilet, bathing myself or bathing my turtles whatever, i will always look behind me time and time again cuz i ALWAYS feel somebody is behind. creepy? oh and this is also probably why i ~~am so scared of~~ hate mirrors.

12) Difficulty sleeping.

ok this is the only point out of all that i dont fulfill. never had problems sleeping, never will. sometimes i wish i could sleep forever and dont wake up. moving on.

13) Talking or smiling to yourself.

omgggg i'm always doing this too!!! i always recite things to myself and make up little stories and scenarios in my head and talk to ficticious characters when i'm alone and bored. hahahaha! and i always smile to myself, ESPECIALLY when i'm on bbm with my girls. ok everyone thinks i'm a psycho now.

14) Neglecting your appearance.

GUILTY.

15) Avoiding contact with people.

HAHAHAHA confession time. sometimes (actually quite often) i purposely miss calls/dont reply texts for a long time/appear off when i'm on msn. i just really value my alone time alot. sometimes i just like to stone and do nothing. even when i have absolutely nothing to do, i also wouldnt want people to call to chitchat with me, pile work on me, rush me for things and to talk to me about their problems etc. just wanna lie around and think about things. and be isolated and alone. i'd talk to you IF i want TO.

of course i'm not THIS anti-social all the time lahh. sometimes it's also cuz i'm out with friends/family, and i also value quality time with them alot. to me, quality time means i devote ALL my attention to them while we are out, and not be constantly disturbed by work and other friends' calls etc.

but when i'm out of my pensive mood i'm all up for hanging out. so dont stop asking me out! =D

16) Behaving aggressively.

i poke/punch/pinch my bf for no good reason all the time. =D

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okayyyy. end of list. seems like it's so easy to satisfy the criteria of being labelled a psycho.

are you a psycho too?